...The absence of which can be damaging, and even cruel. When someone reaches out to you with disturbed feelings and distress, do you validate or do you dismiss? Do you accept what they are saying or do you make up excuses so as not to validate the other person's experience? The absence of validation, and the ignorance of another’s experience can be damaging, it can prevent healing, trigger deep bouts of depression and even despair. Think back to the things that have created pain in your lifetime; was there someone there along the way to validate your situation and pain? If so, now imagine if you were deprived of that validation. Are you capable of going there, or do you practice more ignorance than understanding? I think there’s a very big difference between robust optimism and thinking like a Pollyanna. It's especially damaging for a child in the absense of validation, because they have no-where to go and no-one to tell. Their only option is too bury their pain without the opportunity to confront it, which can lead them into feeling dangerously powerless. Validation is like light and water for a blooming flower, its food for the soul, light for the spirit and healer of the emotions.

The definition from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
In psychology and human communication, validation is the reciprocated communication of respect which communicates that the other's opinions are acknowledged, respected, heard, and (regardless whether or not the listener actually agrees with the content), they are being treated with genuine respect as a legitimate expression of their feelings, rather than marginalized or dismissed. 


aladdinsane12 said...

All of what you said is definitely true and very well-spoken, also. I certainly hope I am validating people- I never would want to dismiss anyone!

Mr. Daddy said...

William Lyon Phelps:
This is the final test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible value to him.

I am not so certain of any civic or moral obligation to validate all others. (children being another issue)

I mean no disrespect to you or your blog, and in all it is a beautiful post.

In light of past experiences in my life, I have come to understand that I am not responsible for other adults healing or despair.

That we only have control over ourselves, and ultimately, others over themselves. (again children being another issue)

With that being stated, I am quite certain that in the final moments of my time here on earth. If I can say with conviction that I have pasted the test of being a gentleman, and others can say the same of me. Then I have not lived in vain.

Yankee Girl said...

I do my best to help others, but realize that it is not up to me to make someone feel better. That is up to the person alone.

As much as I would love to solve everyone's problems, I know that it just isn't possible for me to do that, so instead I will always lend an ear and a helping hand when I can.

Hannah said...

Thank you for your post about validation. It's an important concept that people often forget to use.

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