Friendships: Mirrors of Our Own Character

Friend: One attached to another either through affection or esteem.

Have you ever heard of the saying that you can tell the genuine character of a person by the people they surround themselves with? The term power of association comes to mind. I must admit, I am incredibly grateful for the friends that I have in my life. I can genuinely say that I respect every one of them. They are my confidants, and they make my life better. They provide insight and integrity and I'm proud that they are part of my life. I've also learned, through years of experience, that not everyone we meet can be a friend, as it's the discerning selection process that makes our friends so incredibly special. It sets them worlds apart from mere acquaintances into very special, lifelong, unconditional friendships. We choose them to be in our lives because we find something special and good about them. It's interesting how the people we choose and attract in our lives are a mirror of our own character and integrity, just like the law of attraction: Like attracts like. Do you ever notice that those who are truly aware of integrity also continuously surround themselves with genuinely good and respectful people? There is also the flip side of those who repeatedly choose dysfunctional or superficial friendships and then become mystified when their reputation becomes questionable. It's all a very distorted perception of what's actually genuine and beautiful, as well as an extremely unattractive trait...a little like the movie Shallow Hal. Creating friendships based on the ability that one can merely fog a mirror, or other ridiculous superficial reasons typically end up creating more negative in many lives than they do positive. It can be a tough pill to swallow when one takes inventory and realizes those same dysfunctional relationships divulge one’s own true character. It's interesting how we don't always clearly see the messages we are sending out to the world through the power of association, yet those on the outside see it all too clear. Of course we experience difficult situations, and it's our true friends who lift us up and see us through. My point is that we cannot claim to be mere spectators upon our own lives, claiming powerlessness over choices of our friendships that can sometimes end up creating havoc on our lives. It’s our own responsibility to make wise choices and be selective. If one really wants to see their true self, their own emotional health and maturity level …just look at the integrity of the friends we surround ourselves with. Hopefully it will bring about a genuine smile and sense of sweet gratitude ...because whether we admit it or not, the friends we choose are in fact a mirror of our own true character.


Yankee Girl said...

I agree with this 100%. Some people may think I am judgemental, but I cannot help but judge based on the other people they surround themselves with. Seeing their other friends really helps me to learn who they actually are, and helps me determine if I want that person in my life.

Mr. Daddy said...

I liked this post.And I think that you hit really close to the bulls eye on this topic.
"Show me the person you honor, for I know better by that the kind of person you are. For you show me what your idea of humanity is."
Thomas Carlyle

Diane J Standiford said...

True true true. I have a friends who don't like each other and this baffled me until I realized that I liked each friend for different reasons. In fact I like most people, but I feel as though I only have maybe 3 real friends. (And they are not crazy about each other, this includes my partner of 32yrs) Come to think of it, I am not crazy about their choices in friends either! If I were to look only at my bff's friends I would back off, but he is very unique from them in good ways. Darn! Now you've got me rethinking all this!

ConfessionsofaPTOMom said...

In light of friendships I tried to cultivate over the last several years, now I am left to ponder the depth of my own character.


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