Validation

...The absence of which can be damaging, and even cruel. When someone reaches out to you with disturbed feelings and distress, do you validate or do you dismiss? Do you accept what they are saying or do you make up excuses so as not to validate the other person's experience? The absence of validation, and the ignorance of another’s experience can be damaging, it can prevent healing, trigger deep bouts of depression and even despair. Think back to the things that have created pain in your lifetime; was there someone there along the way to validate your situation and pain? If so, now imagine if you were deprived of that validation. Are you capable of going there, or do you practice more ignorance than understanding? I think there’s a very big difference between robust optimism and thinking like a Pollyanna. It's especially damaging for a child in the absense of validation, because they have no-where to go and no-one to tell. Their only option is too bury their pain without the opportunity to confront it, which can lead them into feeling dangerously powerless. Validation is like light and water for a blooming flower, its food for the soul, light for the spirit and healer of the emotions.

The definition from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

In psychology and human communication, validation is the reciprocated communication of respect which communicates that the other's opinions are acknowledged, respected, heard, and (regardless whether or not the listener actually agrees with the content), they are being treated with genuine respect as a legitimate expression of their feelings, rather than marginalized or dismissed. 

Audrey Hepburn Moments...

"There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain."  ~ Audrey Hepburn

 

Be Honest Always, as if There is No Other Option

If you assume that the truth will hurt, you're most likely underestimating the character and maturity of the person you are keeping from the truth. Always remember that dishonesty is the worse infraction, and it has more to say about one's own fears and emotional immaturity, than the one whom you think you're fooling - especially if they're already aware of your dishonesty.  You'll have no-one else to blame for the damage caused, but yourself.  If you want someone to fully trust you, you must first be fully trustworthy. So be brave with unfaltering honesty, it will free your heart and spirit in ways that you never could have otherwise imagined.

Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind. ~Austin O'Malley

A half truth is a whole lie. ~Yiddish Proverb

Who lies for you will lie against you. ~Bosnian Proverb

Truth fears no questions. ~Unknown

I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't. ~Mark Twain

A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future. ~Author Unknown

Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world. ~Thomas Carlyle

xo

I so appreciate my dear friends for their genuineness, emotional maturity and mutual appreciation. Knowing that there's no underestimating the depth and richness of each other's character. I find such comfort in that cyclical bond of trust and honesty.

Yay!

Thanks to everyone from SITS (the Secret is in the Sauce blog) and everyone else for stopping by yesterday and checking out Wooden Nickel!  So many wonderful comments from so many wonderful readers!  I knew it would be cool to be a featured blogger, but I had no idea it would be THAT cool!  Thanks again everyone and have a fantastic weekend. Peace out.

Oh Happy Day!

Elated: e.lat.ed

–adjective

Very happy or proud; jubilant; in high spirits...

So why am I elated? It’s a very special blogger day for me. The lovely ladies at SITS (The Secret is in The Sauce blog) featured Wooden Nickel today. I’m honored, excited, and ELATED!! What an honor and thank you SITS ladies!

On that note, a warm welcome to you if you’ve never been to Wooden Nickel before, and a warm welcome back if you have. Here’s a few of my most read posts, and I hope you enjoy your visit.

Play Every Day
Ode to my Spandex Running Pants
Good For You!

Thank you!

Power

"We all possess more power and greater possibilities than we realize, and visualizing is one of the greatest of these powers."~Genevieve Behrend

Imagination

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions. ~Albert Einstein

Destination

Destination: The place to which one is going or directed. The ultimate purpose for which something is created or intended.

This photo is of me doing one of my most favorite things; snowboarding. I love the freeing feeling of riding down the mountain in the crisp, fresh air, as fast as I can with the gorgeous snowy mountains surrounding me. Personally, there's just no other experience quite like it. It also seems extremely appealing in the moment, since Seattle is going through a heat wave. A lot of Seattle homes don't have air-conditioning, including my own, so thoughts of snow and cool air are prevalent in my many unique attempts to stay cool today.

So several years ago, when I was just learning to snowboard, I distinctly remember a friend of mine explain the basic element to the sport; Look at your destination, point your shoulders, body and head in your desired direction, and your board will follow and take you there. Anyone who's ever gone through the process of learning to snowboard understands that the very concept of even moving on the board with your feet attached seems like absolute insanity. Usually the first few experiences feel extremely awkward, because you have no ability to move your feet to correct your balance. Just simply standing up on the board for the first time seem disastrous, and actually moving down a hill can feel like train wreck just waiting to happen. You must use your body for balance, otherwise you'll fall flat on your back. Needless to say, the learning experience is comical and an awkward adjustment, but the accomplishment is extremely gratifying. Fortunately I stuck with it long enough to enjoy it immensely, and I never forgot that very simple advice that my friend gave to me several years ago. In fact I’ve broadened its meaning, and now often remind myself to use it as a symbolic metaphor for reaching goals, desires and passions: Whatever your destination is, simply point yourself in that direction, ...and go!

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought." ~Buddha

Truth...

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. ~Benjamin Disraeli

Prosperity...

The spiritual substance from which comes all visible wealth is never depleted. It is right with you all the time and responds to your faith in it and your demands on it. ~Charles Fillmore

Friendships: Mirrors of Our Own Character

Friend: One attached to another either through affection or esteem.

Have you ever heard of the saying that you can tell the genuine character of a person by the people they surround themselves with? The term power of association comes to mind. I must admit, I am incredibly grateful for the friends that I have in my life. I can genuinely say that I respect every one of them. They are my confidants, and they make my life better. They provide insight and integrity and I'm proud that they are part of my life. I've also learned, through years of experience, that not everyone we meet can be a friend, as it's the discerning selection process that makes our friends so incredibly special. It sets them worlds apart from mere acquaintances into very special, lifelong, unconditional friendships. We choose them to be in our lives because we find something special and good about them. It's interesting how the people we choose and attract in our lives are a mirror of our own character and integrity, just like the law of attraction: Like attracts like. Do you ever notice that those who are truly aware of integrity also continuously surround themselves with genuinely good and respectful people? There is also the flip side of those who repeatedly choose dysfunctional or superficial friendships and then become mystified when their reputation becomes questionable. It's all a very distorted perception of what's actually genuine and beautiful, as well as an extremely unattractive trait...a little like the movie Shallow Hal. Creating friendships based on the ability that one can merely fog a mirror, or other ridiculous superficial reasons typically end up creating more negative in many lives than they do positive. It can be a tough pill to swallow when one takes inventory and realizes those same dysfunctional relationships divulge one’s own true character. It's interesting how we don't always clearly see the messages we are sending out to the world through the power of association, yet those on the outside see it all too clear. Of course we experience difficult situations, and it's our true friends who lift us up and see us through. My point is that we cannot claim to be mere spectators upon our own lives, claiming powerlessness over choices of our friendships that can sometimes end up creating havoc on our lives. It’s our own responsibility to make wise choices and be selective. If one really wants to see their true self, their own emotional health and maturity level …just look at the integrity of the friends we surround ourselves with. Hopefully it will bring about a genuine smile and sense of sweet gratitude ...because whether we admit it or not, the friends we choose are in fact a mirror of our own true character.

Spirit of Love

You will find as you look back on your life that the moments that stand out above everything else are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love. ~Henry Drummond