The Power to Change

Never underestimate the power to change yourself, and never overestimate your power to change others. ~Dr. Wayne Dyer

Endless Vision...

The vision that you glorify in your mind, the ideal that you enthrone in your heart - this you will build your life by, this you will become. ~James Allen

Aspiration

To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to. ~Kahlil Gibran

Path

You will recognize your own path when you come upon it, because you will suddenly have all the energy and imagination you will ever need. ~Jerry Gillies

Just A Boy...

So I spent my 4th of July in lovely Newport Beach, California. Gorgeous weather, lots of fun and beautiful beaches. It was a relaxing and interesting trip, and I really enjoyed the entire experience. I went there with my close guy friend, and his single buddies; so I had the unique experience of observing all the singles hanging out in Southern California, with lots of beer drinking, playing, and of course lots of girl/boy watching. Overall it was a learning experience to watch the dynamic on the Southern California beaches, especially at this time of year.

So in watching all of this over the weekend, I'm grateful and very fortunate in how I've made choices around the various men and relationships in my life. There are lots of wonderful men out there, however, there are also a lot of men who are seriously convinced they are their own superhero. Crazy enough, some of these same guys will truly convince many women to believe in their own superhero status. In turn many of those same women will overlook virtually every bad behavior under the moon, then get angry and still stick around because he's cute. They play the cycle over and over again, then get depressed and want the boy to change into a man. The definition of crazy is; "Do the same thing over and over again and then expect a different result." So why do some women underestimate their own power? Why is it they limit themselves and accept crazy boy behavior in relationships? And why do some women sell themselves short? The fact is that the pool is huge, so we're certainly not limited. We have a plethora of good, solid, honest, handsome and mature men out there - yet some women still feel they are limited to relationships with men who are superficial and will always act like boys. People will treat us as we allow them and expect them to treat us. No-one else is ever to blame but ourselves if we allow someone to treat us badly. My mantra is; Don't ever settle and certainly don't waste precious time and energy on relationships with superhero wannabees. Attract a real man, with real values who can be a real hero. Draw the proverbial line in the sand, because if you don't, all you'll end up with ...is a boy.

Beyonce relays that message very well  in her "If I Were A Boy" video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVTyLqkez6A

Living

Don't worry about what the world wants from you, worry about what makes you come more alive. Because what the world really needs are people who are more alive. ~Lawrence Le Shan

Be

How many cares one loses, when one decides not to be something, but to be someone. ~Coco Chanel

Trust

As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. ~Johann Von Goethe

Dance

It's the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance. It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance. It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give; and the soul afraid of dying, that never seems to live. ~ Song Lyrics, "The Rose"

Being Happy

It's interesting when you really think about it, how easy it actually is to simply be happy. Obviously, it's clearly our own personal and powerful choice to be happy or not, however we so very easily forget the power within ourselves to do so. What is it that allows us to determine our own self worth and happiness? Why is it that in such a free society, we still have so much unhappiness? Why are so many of us effected by the choices of others? How does another person's expectations, ideals and value system determine how we think of ourselves and effects our feelings and mood? I'm convinced that the value set or actions of another human being has nothing to do with our internal feeling of being content. Choosing to be angry wastes both precious energy and time that can never be replaced. Simple actions and character traits of our different personalities can easily, yet oddly lead to judgment and condemning another for simply just being different. However if we choose to avoid judging the differences, then there's a clear path for the freedom to have joy. I also have to remind myself that there's really no universal set of values, but only similar ideals of how to act and fit into our own selected social circles. It's an amazing freedom to choose to let go of our expectations of others, whether it be how we expect them to act, or converse or live out their unique daily lives. That one decision in choosing to feel good despite our surroundings directly effects the most fundamental path to happiness, exponentially. So, how do we dissociate ourselves from our feelings from actions of another? Are we capable to actually dis-connect ourselves from the outcome of an other's actions and words and remain in joy, no matter how a situation unfolds? Are we strong enough to accept the responsibility of our own happiness versus holding someone else to blame for it because they say or do something different than our own expectations? I love the short and simple expression, "Live and let live" because at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter what anyone else does or says; as it’s our own choices that make the difference in creating our ultimate joy.

Writers Block

Forgive me, I have writers block today ...so I'll just try and take the attention off of my lack of writing and distract you with the picture of the cows. They are French cows by the way....if that makes it any more interesting.

Definition of Love

I hear everyday loves songs,
Describe a definition of love
They cry and weep in sorrow
Hoping to mend things t’morrow
So much mess and complications
With hopes and dreams that ne’er blossom
Broken dreams
Broken hearts
Broken egos
Broken lives
So why so many profess?
To know the meaning of love?
If it’s so true…
Why so much despair?
Is misery and sadness the meaning of love?
Money?
Compatibility?
Interests?
Looks?
Attraction alone?
No.
Then?
What?
Simple?
Yes.
The definition of love:
When it makes you feel
better
about yourself.
…the definition of love.

The Lady...a Dying Breed?

"The more simply a girl is dressed, ...the more chic she is." This is a quote from a book I read recently. It's simply titled Elegance, written by Kathleen Tessaro. It's a great style book defining class and elegance. I'd say the book clearly defines the styles similar to the likes of Grace Kelly and Jackie-O.

This is all brings me to an interesting situation that I encountered recently. I was attending a teenage birthday party where we were helping out with the adult supervision. When I arrived, I have to admit that I was a little weirded out. I couldn't help but notice the clothing trends that most of the young fifteen and sixteen year old girls were wearing that evening. It was an odd resemblance of night club attire from somewhere in Vegas, with three inch heals and skirts barely covering their butts. The boys of course were dressed conservatively. I could not help but laugh and think, "What the hell is going on here?" "Aren't they like sixteen?" I had such a nagging desire to send all these young girls a copy of the entire DVD collections of What Not To Wear as a welcome into their teen-hood.

So, are grace and style, as well as the concept of being a lady a dying breed nowadays? Has trying too hard to be sexy now become cool? At first I thought that perhaps I'm just old-fashioned, but my common sense (and good taste) must adamantly disagree. I guess there's just a fine fashion-line that some people just don't understand. I also just simply assumed that everyone kind of laughed at the cheesy styles, teens included. Kind of like a comical Will Ferrell spoof in A Night at the Roxbury. Then I realized how we as a society need to be very aware of how incredibly impressionable young and innocent minds really can be. As kids, and in such formative years, they can easily take in all of the images very seriously, whereas most mature adults can easily understand the distinct silliness of it all. I hope that this loose concept of fashion will not go further in defining their young and innocent understanding of themselves. All too many young girls grow up comparing themselves to silly and revealing images and the constant computer and artificially enhanced celebrities, instead of defining their own beauty with real class and confidence as real ladies with real style. I will continue to have high hopes that our next generation of young women is progressing in this society about their body image. I hope that their idea of sexy is to impress themselves, and not the libido of young boys, or even some creepy older men. I hope they grow up to see the difference to attract real men, gentlemen, who can clearly understand and connect with them on a real and mature level. I so passionately wish that more girls and women could comprehend that if they are confident, then they are perfect and beautiful. I'm reminded of how easily we can become products of our environment. I'm grateful that with age comes wisdom, and one very important and lovely epiphany that I learned through the years: If we can identify and understand our own unique and individual beauty, then we can genuinely and confidently portray it with class and dignity - and that is sexy. It seems that leaving more to the imagination has oddly become a long lost art. It's simply all about being a lady, with grace and beauty- of which no article of clothing (or lack thereof), or three inch heals can ever replace.